when i fall out of love...

In 2 weeks, my partner and i will be celebrating the first anniversary of our relationship. This by far is my longest relationship with anyone, boy or girl. Unfortunately, for the past few weeks the chasm between us have been growing wider and wider. I no longer text him sweet notes nor talk to him on the phone like teenage lovers as we used to. I think i have fallen out of love. I don't know how this happened. Every now and then we'd have our petty fights but i can't pin point the main reason why I've fallen out of love. I just did.

We were at Pasto last night and we talked about the status of our relationship. He told me that i was the first guy who ever told him "I'm no longer in love with you, but i still love you." I'd like make myself believe that this happens in all relationships. The ecstatic feeling of 'falling in love' fades after some time. I think i need someone to tell me that whats happening to me and our relationship is normal. But sometimes, i can't help but wonder, am i staying with him because i still love him or because of pity? because my conscience can't bare break up with him 2 weeks short of our anniversary? Will my feelings ever come back?

And most of all, i know for a fact that I am staying with him because I am scared. I'm scared that if I break up with him, i may never find another man that will love me like he loves me. In my world, men who are as loving as they are loyal are almost impossible to find.

Am i staying with my boyfriend for all the wrong reasons? Or am i staying with him because i know we've transcended the phase of being 'in love', and our relationship is now on a different level?

do i really still love him?